When I was in 7th Grade, every student was encouraged to sign up for a 'club', which was first period, each Wednesday. My friend, Liz, and I signed up for the "Crochet Club". Liz, I, and about 20 other girls, under the tutelage of groovy Mrs. Baginski, sat in the Home Ec Suite of Lenape Jr. High School in Doylestown (ok, so this was 1974, people), with hooks, yarn, and hope.
On the first day, Mrs. Baginski demonstrated the basics. Chain stitch. Single Crochet.
Liz and I caught on to "chain stitch" quickly. Three months later, our classmates were looping along, silently, gracefully, industriously creating bedcovers. Liz and I were still perfecting "chain stitch". Christmas came and went. I was still on "chain stitch". In other words, I never learned to crochet.
However, I have a long memory. I do not fail. Even if success had to come over 30 years later...
Last night, before settling in to watch John McCain speak at the Republican Convention on TV, I spent 1 hour with "The Idiot's Guide to Knitting and Crocheting", and, get this -- taught myself (again) to chain stitch. 20 minutes later, I graduated to single crochet. Onward HO. There's no stopping me now.
Mrs. Baginski...if you're out there somewhere...take a gander at this: